Mazel Tov, Kyle
by perfection through silence
Summary: Fast forward five years to Kyle's bar mitzvah. (If you've never been to one this story might confuse you a bit.) Not much has changed in South Park.. or has it? Warning: Slash.
1. Chapter 1

Yep. I'm back. This time with.. *gasp!* Romance! Dear God, shoot me now! Now!!  
  
Anyways, this contains some slashyness. If you don't like it, you can lump it, mister! Oh,  
  
and I'm not too good with romance so give me a break.  
  
And if you'd like to flame me, you can talk to my whiffle bat. *smacks bat into palm*  
  
***  
  
Stan was extremely nervous. He fidgeted and adjusted his tie. He'd never been to a bar  
  
mitzvah before. Well, that was probably just because the Broflovskis were the only  
  
Jewish family in South Park.  
  
"Hey Stan! Aren't you excited?" Wendy still looked just like she did when she was eight.  
  
That pretty black hair, those deep eyes. But lately, Stan just didn't feel the same about  
  
her. She seemed different, more distant.  
  
"I think Kyle looks sexy in a yarmulke," Bebe giggled. Kenny muttered something  
  
incomprehensible through his orange parka. Wendy gasped. Bebe smacked him across the  
  
face.  
  
"I'm huuuuungry! When do we get to eat?" Cartman whined. "I hope it's not some gay  
  
ass Jewish food! I'm starving!"  
  
"Shut up, Cartman. You're always hungry," Stan remarked. Everyone laughed.   
  
Cartman just crossed his arms. "Oh, grow up, Stan. You are so immature."  
  
"At least I don't watch Teletubbies every day."  
  
Cartman just stood there, mouth agape. "You- I-- I-- Eh, screw you guys! I'm going  
  
home!"  
  
"You can't go home, Cartman. This is a special day for Kyle. Besides, if you stay,  
  
afterwards, you can go to the party.." Wendy said.  
  
"Party? Sweet! Well, alright. I'll forgive you all for being assholes."  
  
** 


	2. Chapter 2

"Kyle told me it took him three years to get ready for this," Wendy whispered to Stan.  
  
"Three years? Damn," he muttered. "I'd never have the patience for that."  
  
"{Yeah, but afterwards you get lots of money and presents and stuff}," Kenny added.  
  
"Jesus tapdancin' Christ. I'd never have the courage to do anything like that," Stan  
  
mused. Kyle was singing something in Hebrew. He looked so different without his usual  
  
green hat and orange coat. Stan rested his head in his hands and sighed. Lately, he'd felt  
  
so weird. He'd been spending more time with Kyle than with Wendy. In fact, Wendy was  
  
getting sort of.. annoying.  
  
Maybe Bebe's not crazy. Kyle is kind of-  
  
No! No, that's wrong! He didn't like Kyle in that way. He liked Wendy. Didn't he?  
  
**  
  
"What's wrong with Stan?" Bebe whispered to Wendy. "I don't know," she hissed.  
  
"Lately he's been acting all spaced out and not paying any attention to me. Whenever I  
  
call, his mom says he's out doing something with Kyle.. I miss the old days. Even though  
  
it was kind of gross when he threw up on me, it was kind of cute, in a weird way."  
  
Bebe nodded. "I know how you feel. It's the same with Kyle. Never home when I call,  
  
never around at school, never around after school..."  
  
"What do you think's wrong with them?"  
  
"I don't know," Bebe sighed.  
  
"Boys," Wendy said. They giggled.  
  
"What's so funny?" Stan inquired.   
  
"Oh, nothing," said Wendy nonchalantly. "Hey, I think it's done!"  
  
People were leaving. Kyle was nowhere to be seen. Stan looked around. "Where the hell  
  
is Kyle?"  
  
"Relax, dumbass. He's got to be around here somewhere. After all, it's his big day,"  
  
Cartman said mockingly. "See? There he is,"  
  
"Hey guys,"   
  
Kyle smiled when he saw his friends looking for him. They meant a lot to him. Well, all  
  
of them but Cartman, he was just a fat asshole.  
  
"I guess this makes you a man now, Kyle," said Bebe. "And you know what that means.."  
  
She and Wendy giggled, making Kyle uncomfortable. He forced a smile.  
  
"Uh, so. I don't have long. I have to go set up for the party. I'll see you all there, right?"  
  
Everyone nodded.  
  
"Will there be lots to eat?"  
  
"Sure, fatass."  
  
"Ay! I'm not fat!"  
  
"..You just asked me if there'd be anything to eat at a party. Food is all you think about.  
  
Face it, Cartman- you're fat."  
  
His eyes widened. "My God, Kyle.. you're.. you're right.. I've just been in denial all these  
  
years.."  
  
With that, he took off, sniffling and whining for his mom.  
  
"Wow, Kyle. You really upset him that time," Bebe remarked.  
  
He shrugged. "He'll get over it."  
  
** 


End file.
